Please Don't Blame Yourself for Me
by NozomiToujou
Summary: How could I lose to a person like Handa Shinichi? What does he have which I don't? I was in love with a beautiful person named Kazemaru Ichirouta.


Made this fic out of boredom... On the Dark Emperors part, I used the game version and the anime version, K? But still, I'm going to turn some things...

So, on with the fic.

* * *

><p>I was an idiot. Even Kidou Yuuto could tell it.<p>

How could I lose to a stupid person like Handa Shinichi? What does he have which I don't? I was in love with a beautiful person named Kazemaru Ichirouta.

Who wouldn't fall in love with him anyway? The beautiful, long and silky teal hair which is always tied in a ponytail reminds me of the vast blue sky. Amber eyes which are burning in determination when a soccer match is about to begin. He has sweet and caring side which only a few people knows about it.

I know that Kazemaru knows that I love him. But I wasn't able to tell him how much. Now everything's too late. Too late that I won't be able to say it.

The moment Teikoku met the Raimon Jr. High soccer players, I fell in love with one of their players. He looked so feminine that I thought he was a girl. I was out of my concentration during the game and Kidou kept on scolding me. How would I be able to hurt somebody like this teal-haired boy who is very beautiful?

Then, Kidou brought me back to my senses. I started attacking the Raimon Jr. High players with my techniques that I was practicing for a while. I was also careful not to hurt the tealnet. I wonder what's his name?

Then, someone from my team (I have to admit I wasn't paying attention to my team members because I was busy looking at the tealnet), used a Haissatsu attack. And it went straight to the tealnet! I felt like hurting my team mates who did that to him!

"Kazemaru!" Some of the Raimon members said.

Kazemaru, huh? Well it really suits him. Kaze means wind, and he's fast as the wind can go.

Kazemaru didn't stand up for a while, which worried me greatly. Then a brown haired boy rushed to him and helped him stand. I was burning with anger and jealousy. But as soon as I found out that Kazemaru was fine, I sighed in relief.

The match went on, everyone from Raimon Jr. High soccer team was lying on the ground.

Kidou and the others were in front of Endou Mamoru, the captain and the goal keeper of their team. If I only met Kazemaru earlier before that Endou persuaded Kazemaru to join their soccer team, then we should have gotten Kazemaru on our side.

But that would be impossible.

"Don't... play... jokes... on me..." I heard Kazemaru say. Then I looked at him. He was really beaten up but he was trying to stand up! What is he up to?

Then the next thing I saw was the ball was flying straight to Endou. Then in a flash, Kazemaru blocked the ball with his head. "This isn't how you play soccer!" He said.

What the hell! That was very dangerous!

"Kazemaru!" Endou said.

"Kazemaru!" A guy with neon-pink hair said.

I looked at his team mates. Everyone was looking at Kazemaru with a surprised face.

As I looked back to Kazemaru, the tealnet was sent back by the ball with a really bad force. He landed at the ground where the goal was.

"Kazemaru?" Endou said as he rushed to his friend. I was annoyed at this! Then Endou knelt down beside Kazemaru. "Kazemaru!"

"En... dou..." Kazemaru could barely speak! And it was obvious that he was injured!

I wanted to rush over him but I know this would mess thing up.

Endou supported Kazemaru to stand up and kept protecting the goal until Gouenji Shuuya showed up.

After they scored a goal, Teikoku retreated. While we were leaving I swear I saw Kazemaru collapse with his team members rushing towards him.

Then, the next time I saw him was when I was a member of Shin Teikoku. Of course the Aliea Meteorite was really controlling my emotions so I don't really remember too much about what happened.

After a while, I saw him being broadcasted... As a Dark Emperor... curse Kenzaki! He used the Aliea Meteorite on Kazemaru! How dare he!

The match ended with Endou saving them. I swear I saw tears on Kazemaru's eyes and saying the word 'Endou' before passing out. The Aliea Meteorite took too much of his energy and from what I heard, the Genesis injured him really badly.

"You took Kazemaru when he was sent straight to the hospital and immediately used the Aliea Meteorite on him!" Endou was saying. Gouenji was cradling Kazemaru on his lap. Kazemaru was wincing in pain. I felt a knot on my chest.

After a while the broadcasting stopped.

2 days later, Kidou, the only person knows that I love Kazemaru, showed up.

"Kidou," I said. He seem to know what I was going to ask.

"Kazemaru's suffering from the injuries he got from our battle with the Genesis. He was given no time to rest so his injuries could heal. The Aliea Meteorite made his injuries go numb as if they healed. And Kazemaru, without knowing it, pushed himself very hard. He's currently unconscious because of the medicines that were injected to him to make him sleep so that his body could heal faster. Though, he is also suffering from over exhaustion." Kidou said.

I looked at the ground. I didn't notice that I was clenching my fists.

When coach Hibiki called me, I went to Kidou's house. He was also called but either of us knows what was going on.

As soon as Endou came to the gym, Kidou talked to him. Heck! I saw Kazemaru sitting with Tsunami and Fubuki! I have to admit that I was burning with jealousy.

For some reason, he caught me looking at him, and he smiled at me. Damn. How can a guy look so beautiful?

"Be careful, you have 4 rivals who trying to win his heart." Kidou whispered.

Then he pointed to a pink-haired guy. No, this time, it's not Someoka. It's Tsunami. "Tsunami Jousuke. He had been close to Kazemaru for a while."

Then he pointed to a redhead person. "Hiroto Kiyama. He had been visiting Kazemaru ever since the tealnet was hospitalized."

Then he pointed to Gouenji. "Gouenji Shuuya. He had romantic interests for Kazemaru ever since Kazemaru collapsed because of us."

"Then, him. Matsuno Kousuke. Everyone calls him Max. He had been trying to win Kazemaru's heart for as long as I know. That's what Kurimatsu told me." Kidou said as he pointed to a orange-haired guy.

"You just have to try being close to him. He likes apples and chocolates. He prefers Dark Chocolates and hates white. And one thing, he's a bit clueless that people are in love with him." Kidou said.

"Who does he like anyway?" I asked.

"Handa Shinichi. You have to take advantage of this. Handa was not called for this unknown event. Kazemaru's birthday is in a week, why don't you make your move?" Kidou said and left me in my thoughts.

Handa Shinichi huh? I remember him, he's the guy who helped Kazemaru stand up during our first match with Raimon. I better make my move. Kidou's right.

Right, so... I asked Kazemaru to go out with me during his birthday. He turned down the other's invitation saying that I already invited him for a walk.

First, I was really nervous. But as soon as I felt that he's getting comfortable with me, I relaxed a little.

We went to an ice cream shop located at the right corner of the street. I took vanilla while he took bubble-gum flavor. He was happily eating it while we were talking about soccer.

He kept his hair down today. And I must admit, Kazemaru looks better with his hair down. When I told that to him, he blushed. He looks cute when he blushes.

Then, we went for a walk on the park. He was really enjoying it. One of the things I like about him is:

He's pretty simple.

Simple things already makes him happy.

I glanced at the tealnet, then I noticed something. He was a bit pale.

"Kazemaru? Are you alright?" I asked.

"Hmm? Yeah." Kazemaru said with a small smile.

Then I remembered something.

"Don't let Kazemaru get tired too much. Even if his injuries have healed, his body hasn't yet." Kidou told me on the phone yesterday.

"Come on, I'll take you to my house and we can watch a movie there." I told him.

Kazemaru seem to like the idea.

At my house, I gave him my present. A teddy bear that was teal in color. He was really happy with it and gave me a cute smile.

While watching we were at the middle of the movie, I noticed that he fell asleep already. He was clutching the teddy bear while he was asleep.

I've let him rest on my lap while I continued to watch this movie.

That was the last time I've spent a day with him. After a few weeks, everyone heard Endou scream:

"HANDA! IS IT REALLY TRUE?"

When everybody gathered around and asked what happened, Endou turned to us and said (He was like a lunatic):

"HANDA AND KAZEMARU ARE ALREADY DATING WITH EACH OTHER!"

There were some gasps. I knew that Kidou's looking at me. I tried to hide my sadness and smiled. I told Handa congratulations. Same with the others who like the tealnet.

But Handa's joy didn't last too long.

After 3 days, Kazemaru stopped attending practice. We were all wondering why. Even Handa didn't know where Kazemaru was. All of us were getting worried for Kazemaru. You just don't know how worried I was for him.

Then we heard someone scream Endou's name.

Miyasaka Ryou. Kazemaru's friend at the Athletics Club.

"Endou-senpai!" Miyasaka said with a very worried expression. There were also some tears in his eyes.

"What is it, Miyasaka? Are you alright? Why are you crying?" Endou asked. He asks too many questions at times.

"It's horrible! He's at a very critical condition! A car bumped with a very bad force he was knocked down badly and now, he's in coma! He has a very low chance of surviving and... and... some of the witnesses said that the incident was not an accident! I was on purpose! The car left the scene as soon as he was already bleeding to death... they even shot him! He was shot near his heart! That's what the doctor said!" Miyasaka said while crying.

What is he talking about?

"Who are you talking about?" Max asked.

"K-K-Kazemaru-senpai!" Miyasaka said while tears flowed down his cheeks.

Everyone in the field froze.

What is happening here? Who would-? I have a lot of questions in my mind at that time.

Then, my legs carried me to the hospital. I was running very fast.

I ran straight to the intensive care unit. Room 302. Room 302. Then finally, I found it. When I saw him, my legs felt very weak.

Kazemaru was very pale and was unmoving. There were a lot of tubes attached to him. His heart monitor was indicating that the patient was unstable. There was a bandage on his forehead but there was a faint stain of blood. He was barely breathing, only some of those tubes attached to him supports his breathing.

"You can enter if you want too," A nurse said with a sad smile. She looked at Kazemaru with a sad face. "Kazemaru-kun..."

"You know him?" I asked.

"He's the son of my father's friend at work. We sometime talk to each other. He's like a little brother to me." The nurse said.

I entered as soon as the nurse left. Kazemaru... what happened to you? Who would do these horrible things to you?

2 days passed after that. He was still the same until...

I got a phone call from Kidou... He sounded like he was crying...

When I arrived at the hospital, I saw Haruna and some of the Raimon players at the 1st floor, crying.

"Sakuma-kun!" Haruna said as she rushed toward me.

What's happening? I looked at Kidou.

Handa came while crying. Max gave him a comforting hug.

Kidou approached me.

"He's... Kazemaru's..." Kidou can't finish his sentence because his voice was shaking. "gone..."

No! No! Kidou you're lying! No it can't be!

"Sakuma-kun!" Haruna said.

"Sakuma!" Kidou said.

I can hear voices but I don't know what's happening.

Everything... I felt so numb.

Now, I am standing beside Kazemaru's grave. I placed a bouquet of flowers and gently touched the tomb. I sighed. It's been a year after his death. I wasn't able to move on.

"I love you Kazemaru. I really do. I'm sorry if I hadn't told it earlier. If I could only bring back the time, I could avoid what happened. An I'm sure you'll still be alive and playing soccer with us." I whispered.

As I left, the wind blew softly. And I'm sure I heard a voice saying:

"I love you too, Sakuma. But at the time I realized it, It was too late. But, don't worry, I'm always there for all of you. I'm watching you guys during your practice and I cheered for you guys during FFI. I never left you. I'm always right beside you Sakuma. Don't blame yourself for me, please? No one expected what happened a year ago. I tried to fight, but it was already my time to go. I love you... very much..."

That voice... tears started to flow down my cheeks. That voice... belongs to...

Kazemaru Ichirouta.


End file.
